Module 9: Psychological counseling
9.2. The Effective Consultant Model

The personality of the consultant (psychotherapist) is distinguished in almost all theoretical systems as the most important healing tool in the counseling process. One or another of its features is emphasized. The famous English psychoanalyst of Hungarian Origin M. Balint in 1957 spoke about the complete oblivion of the fact that psychotherapy is not theoretical knowledge, but personal skills. He is echoed by the equally famous representative of humanistic psychology, S. Rogers (1961), who emphasizes that the theory and methods of the consultant are less important than the implementation of their role. Gombs (1969; cit. according to: George, Cristiani, 1990), based on several studies, it was established that a successful consultant is distinguished from a loser by personality traits. S. Freud, when asked about the criteria for success of a psychotherapist, replied that a psychoanalyst does not need a medical education, but observation and the ability to penetrate the client's soul. So, in essence, the main technique of psychological counseling is "I-as-a-tool", i.e. the main tool that stimulates the improvement of the client's personality is the personality of the consultant (A. Adber: "the treatment technique is embedded in you").

A. Storr (1980) notes that psychotherapy and psychological counseling are considered unusual professions, since many people find it difficult to imagine listening to other people's stories about unhappy lives and difficulties all day long. Therefore, representatives of these professions are considered either abnormal or worldly saints who have overcome human limitations. Neither the first nor the second is correct. Hence the question: "who is a consultant, or rather, what is a consultant as a person, what requirements are imposed on him as a person, what makes him a professional assistant in other people's complicated problems?"

First of all, it should be said that no one is born a psychotherapist or consultant. The required qualities are not innate, but develop over the course of life. Summarizing the above, we emphasize that the effectiveness of a consultant is determined by personal characteristics, professional knowledge and special skills. Each of these factors provides a high-quality consultation contact, which is the core of psychological counseling. As a result, the final effect of consulting depends on the consultation contact — a change in the client's personality in the process of constructive actions of the consultant. Without detracting from the importance of theoretical and practical training, we still tend to give preference to the personality factor of the consultant. At one-time M. Balint and E. Balint wrote: "Knowledge can be obtained from books or lectures, skills are acquired in the course of work, but their value is limited without improving the personality of the psychotherapist. Psychotherapy becomes a craft paved with good intentions, if it is not raised to a professional level by the appropriate qualities of the psychotherapist's personality."

What should be the combination of personality traits that would most ensure the success of counseling?

Although there is a lot of research in this area, unfortunately, there is no clear answer about the personality traits that contribute to the effective work of a consultant. Very often, when describing a successful consultant, both professionals and clients use every day concepts: "open", "warm", "attentive", "sincere", "flexible", "tolerant". Attempts were made to identify the personality traits necessary for the consultant to work on professional selection. The National Professional Orientation Association of the United States identifies the following personality traits (cit. by George, and Cristiani, 1990):

• showing a deep interest in people and patience in dealing with them. [M. Buber (1961) characterized this factor as an interest in people because of their being, and not because some of them are schizophrenics or psychopaths];

• sensitivity to other people's attitudes and behaviors.

• emotional stability and objectivity;

• ability to inspire other people's trust.

• respect for other people's rights.

In 1964, the U.S. Advisory Oversight and Training Committee established the following six personality traits required of a consultant (cit. by George, and Cristiani, 1990):

• trust in people;

• respect for the values of another person;

• insight;

• lack of prejudice;

• self-understanding.

• consciousness of professional duty.

L. Wolberg (1954) emphasizes the following features: sensitivity, objectivity (not identifying with clients), flexibility, empathy, and the absence of serious problems of one's own. Among the features that are particularly HARMFUL to the consultant are authoritarianism, passivity and dependence, isolation, a tendency to use clients to meet their needs, inability to be tolerant of various client motivations, and a neurotic attitude towards money.

A. Gombs etal. in his research, he found that a successful consultant usually sees others as able to solve their own problems and take responsibility, as preferring to identify with people rather than with objects.

N. Strupp etal. (1969; cit. according to: Schneider, 1992), who studied the traits of a "good consultant" from the point of view of clients, indicates attentiveness, listening ability, warmth, cordiality, and wisdom in friendly advice.

According to A. Storr (1980), the ideal psychotherapist or consultant can be a sympathetic person, frank and open to the feelings of others; able to identify with a variety of people; warm, but not sentimental, not striving for self-affirmation, but having his own opinion and able to protect it; able to serve for the benefit of his clients.

If we continue to review the numerous literature sources about the personality traits that a consultant needs to help, to be a catalyst for self-knowledge, change and improvement of another person, we will come closer to the PERSONALITY model of an EFFECTIVE CONSULTANT. Such a list of personal characteristics could serve as the basis for a consultant training program. We are talking, of course, about a" mobile " model, since each consultant has the opportunity to supplement it. Let's consider the factors that can form the backbone of such a model.

J. Bugental (1965) calls authenticity the core quality of a psychotherapist and the most important existential value. He identifies three main signs of authentic existence:

• full awareness of the present moment;

• choosing a way of life at the moment;

• taking responsibility for your choices.

Authenticity to some extent generalizes many personality traits. First of all, it is an expression of sincerity towards the client. The authentic person longs to be and is himself, both in his immediate reactions and in his holistic behavior. He allows himself not to know all the answers to life's questions, if he really does not know them. He doesn't behave like a person in love if he feels hostility at the moment. The problem with most people is that they spend a lot of energy playing roles, creating an external facade, instead of using it to solve real problems. If the consultant hides behind a professional role most of the time, the client will also hide from him. If the consultant acts only as a technical expert, dissociating himself from his personal reactions, values, and feelings, the consultation will be sterile, and its effectiveness will be questionable. We can get in touch with the client's life only by remaining alive people. An authentic consultant is the most appropriate model for clients, serving as an example of flexible behavior.

Openness to your own experience. Here, openness is understood not in the sense of frankness in front of other people, but as sincerity in the perception of one's own feelings. Social experience teaches us to deny our feelings, especially negative ones. The child is told: "Shut up, big children (or boys) don't cry!" Adults are told the same thing by others: "Don't cry!"or" Don't be nervous!" The pressure of others forces you to push out sadness, irritability, and anger. An effective consultant should not drive away any feelings, including negative ones. Only in this case can you successfully control your behavior, because repressed feelings become irrational, a source of uncontrolled behavior. When we are aware of our emotional responses, we can choose our own way of dealing with the situation, rather than allowing unconscious feelings to disrupt the regulation of our behavior. The consultant is able to promote positive changes in the client only when he / she shows tolerance to the whole variety of other people's and his / her own emotional reactions.

Development of self-knowledge. Limited self-knowledge means limited freedom, and deep self-knowledge increases the possibility of choice in life. The more the consultant knows about himself, the better he will understand his clients, and vice versa — the more the consultant gets to know his clients, the more deeply he understands himself. As E. Kennedy (1977) puts it, not being able to hear what's going on inside of us increases our exposure to stress and limits our effectiveness, and we are also more likely to fall victim to meeting our unconscious needs in the counseling process. It is very important to be realistic about yourself. The answer to the question of how you can help another person lies in the self-assessment of the consultant, the adequacy of his attitude to his own abilities and in general to life.

The power of personality and identity. The consultant should know who he is, what he can become, what he wants from life, what is important for him, in essence. He turns to life with questions, answers the questions posed to him by life, and constantly puts his values to the test. Both in their professional work and in their personal life, the consultant should not simply be a reflection of other people's hopes, but should act in accordance with their own internal position. This will allow him to feel strong in interpersonal relationships.

Tolerance to uncertainty. Many people feel uncomfortable in situations that lack structure, clarity, and certainty. But since one of the prerequisites for becoming a person is to "say goodbye" to the familiar, known from their own experience and enter "unfamiliar territory", the consultant absolutely needs self-confidence in situations of uncertainty. In fact, these situations are what make up the" fabric " of counseling. After all, we never know what kind of client and problem we will face, what decisions we will have to make. Confidence in your intuition and the adequacy of your feelings, confidence in the correctness of your decisions, and the ability to take risks-all these qualities help to bear the stress created by uncertainty when interacting with clients frequently.

Taking personal responsibility. Since many counseling situations arise under the control of the consultant, the consultant must be held accountable for their actions in these situations. Understanding your responsibility allows you to freely and consciously make a choice at any time of consulting — to agree with the client's arguments or enter into a productive confrontation. Personal responsibility helps you take criticism more constructively. In such cases, criticism does not cause psychological defense mechanisms, but serves as useful feedback that improves the effectiveness of activities and even the organization of life.

About the depth of relationships with other people. The consultant must evaluate people — their feelings, views, and idiosyncratic personality traits-but do it without judging or labeling them. This type of relationship with clients is very important, but you should take into account the fears that most people experience when trying to establish close, warm relationships with others. Some people think that expressing positive feelings obliges, restricts freedom, and makes you vulnerable. Someone is afraid of the partner's rejection of positive feelings, rejection of them, so it seems safer to delay the deepening of interpersonal relationships. An effective consultant does not have such fears, and is able to freely express their feelings in front of other people, including clients.

Setting realistic goals. Usually, success encourages you to set big goals, and failure, on the contrary, lowers the bar of claims. Sometimes this self-defense mechanism is disrupted, and then too big a goal will be doomed to failure in advance, or the pursuit of an insignificant goal will not give any satisfaction. So, an effective consultant should understand the limitations of their capabilities. First of all, it is important not to forget that any consultant, regardless of professional training, is not omnipotent. In reality, no single consultant is able to build the right relationship with each client and help all clients solve their problems. Such naive optimism can lead to a" cold shower " in everyday counseling and constantly cause feelings of guilt. The consultant must give up the unrealistic desire to become perfect. In consulting, we can always do our job "well", but not perfectly. Those who fail to recognize the limitations of their abilities live under the illusion that they can fully know and understand another person. Such a consultant constantly blames himself for mistakes instead of learning useful lessons, and as a result, his activities are ineffective. If we allow our own limitations, we avoid unnecessary tension and feelings of guilt. Then the relationship with customers becomes deeper and more realistic. A proper assessment of your own capabilities allows you to set achievable goals for yourself.

Об Empathy, which is one of the most important personality traits of an effective consultant, will be discussed in more detail when discussing relationships in the counseling process.

Summarizing the requirements for the personality of a consultant discussed above, it can be argued that an effective consultant is primarily a mature person. The more diverse a consultant's personal and professional life styles are, the more effective their work will be. Sometimes expressing your feelings and just listening to what the client is saying is the best thing, but it is dangerous to limit yourself to just such a tactic of counseling, sometimes it is necessary to enter into a confrontation with the client. Sometimes it is necessary to interpret their behavior, and sometimes it is necessary to encourage the client to interpret the meaning of their behavior. Sometimes counseling requires direction and structure, and sometimes you can afford to get carried away with a conversation without a specific structure. In counseling, as in life, you should be guided not by formulas, but by your intuition and the needs of the situation. This is one of the most important attitudes of a mature consultant.

K. Schneider (1992) identifies three important postulates of qualified psychological counseling and psychotherapy:

1.   Personal maturity of the consultant. It is assumed that the consultant successfully solves their life problems, is frank, tolerant and sincere towards themselves.

2.   Social maturity of the consultant. It is assumed that the consultant is able to help other people effectively solve their problems, is frank, tolerant and sincere towards clients.

3.   Consultant maturity is a process, not a state. The implication is that it is impossible to be mature always and everywhere.

The model of an effective consultant that we have drawn may seem too grand and far from reality at first glance. This suggests that the traits of an effective consultant coincide with those of a successful person. This is the model that a consultant should strive for if he wants to be a psychological counseling artist rather than a technical craftsman. Finally, the personality traits of an effective consultant can also be the goal of psychological counseling — the appearance of these properties in the client in this case becomes an indicator of the effectiveness of counseling.